


Mirror Images

by Choice



Series: Transformations [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adolescent Fili and Kili, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BAMF Dís, Basically a lot of Issues, Bisexual Male Character, Character Study, Cis Bilbo, FTM Thorin, Gandalf is Meddlesome, Gender Issues, Identity Issues, Other, Sexuality Crises, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choice/pseuds/Choice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Different glimpses and stages of lives intermingled as Victoria "Tor" Durin becomes Thorin, the man he had always known himself to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror Images

**Author's Note:**

> This AU idea has been nagging at my consciousness since halfway through my spring semester and now, with the summer (FINALLY) here, I really want to allow this concept to come burgeoning forth! I am in the process of working on a more permanent, chronological and "full-length" story, but I will be using this series as a means of exploring FTM!Thorin's journey and his relationships with family, friends, and significant others. These separate snippets will be various lengths, depending on how far I delve into separate situations/ideas.
> 
> As a disclaimer, I myself am not transgender and my knowledge base resides in internet research and personal, secondhand experiences. Should the contents of this series not ring true, or if you see any errors here, _please_ let me know! My intent is to represent a transitioning FTM!Thorin as accurately and respectfully as possible, and I welcome critiques and feedback that will help me grow as a writer and a human being. 
> 
> You are more than welcome to comment, offer constructive criticism, and shoot some ideas/requests my way for what you'd like to see in my AU! And, of course, thanks so much for reading. ♥

Before, whenever Thorin looked into a mirror he felt false. It was as if he had been on the outside looking in, staring down a stranger, an impostor.

They had moved like him, spoke the words that came to his mind, and matched sensations--fingers running through coarse hair, teeth worrying at chapped lips, nostrils flaring in a huff. Yet, gazing into the despairing depths of glacial blue, this figure before him was more doppelganger than truth. When Thorin envisioned himself--his  _true_ self--his figure was more angular than curved, his chest flat and firm, his chin darkened with stubble.

He had felt constantly betrayed by his own flesh, to the point where showering became a near-daily emotional trial. He pinched his burning eyes shut as he quickly lathered up his pert, proportionate breasts, cleaning the genitals he'd been born with yet felt completely foreign to his hands. 

Now, as he witnessed his own metamorphosis, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest. (Figuratively  _and_ literally speaking.) He'd nearly cried with relief when the shadows of hair began to show on his face, and while his breast removal had been a painful and costly process, the sight and feel of his chest afterwards was absolutely priceless.

He still had a ways to go before all vestiges of falsehood were erased, but with each day that passed, with every injection and surgery and lifestyle modification he underwent, Thorin felt like he was closer to himself than he'd ever been before.

And that, he reminded himself, was why this journey of struggle and strife was absolutely worth it.


End file.
